Spring = Rebirth

 So, Its been a while..7ish months to be exact. I needed those months. In those 7 months, I hit rock bottom. November broke me, December/Christmas was difficult. Looking back, it was almost as though November and December were just one long never ending stressful day. One day in December, after carrying the weight of family illness on top of the worry and anxiety of the pandemic, being an anxious person in general and having not been happy for quite some time, I couldn't deal. All of the stress and sadness I had been carrying finally caught up to me. My Husband and I decided I needed to seek help, it was now a non-negotiable. And I have to tell you, I'm so so so so glad I did. I hadn't always had the best experiences with mental health professionals. So when I truly needed to face the fact that I needed to see someone it was really hard. I was hesitant and scared. But, I did it. I think I got lucky because the first people I found, fit me. I am glad I was able to find a little bit of faith left to give it another try. It's only been 4 months, but it has been an intense 4 months of work. 

There has been so much that I have able to work through. There have been so many areas of growth. Areas I didn't even think were relevant to look into. I learned to forgive myself, let go of guilt and perfectionism, to forgive others, to chill, to breathe. I have learned more about myself and what makes me, me. I have learned to unlearn. This whole process of learning to unlearn has been so beautiful. To get deep and vulnerable. To see my shadows and to see my light. I have learned to be me, fully and authentically. 

I didn't really plan to put this anywhere besides my journal. So I actually know what t put in this post. But, I figured, even if just my mom reads this, it's there. Lol. I know I have probably said it like 30x's by now, but I do intend to keep posting here. It helps me feel like I'm making an impact even if it's minimal. I am excited to share this new part of my life. The part where I get to know me. The part where I play and explore and am the muse of my everyday. I want to share the work I do to help me grow and stay grounded. I want to share how my marriage has improved. I want to share so so so many wonderful things with you. So, I'll be here sharing regularly. I hope you growth me.

p.s. this blog is called "Sacred Revival" for a reason. I believe my constant growth is like the cycle of life and death. As we evolve things no longer serve us (die) and we welcome in the things that do (birth/rebirth). The Sacred, is the hard work/lessons that become ritual to keep me in alignment with my truest self. Sacred Revival.

With love,